The first thing I did was contact the rink and make sure that they had adult classes. I really didn't want to be the only adult in a class of 6 yr olds. They assured me that the classes were separated by age groups: 3-5, 6-18, and adult. Whew! Massive embarrassment averted.
I was very excited....until the day of. Then I got VERY nervous. I drove to the rink and the first person I see in the parking lot was my neighbor who I forgot drove the zamboni. Great! That means someone I know will watch me fall on my rumph (and yes, I purposely added the "h").
So I go to the registration table (surrounded by 54 million little kids) and told the woman there that I was there for the adult beginner class. "Oh Janice, we're glad you're here!" Wait? How do you know my name? Then the light bulb went off and I asked, "If you know my name, does that mean....?" Before I could finish, she finished the sentence for me "Yes, you're the only adult". Guess it's become a private lesson.
Private lessons may sound cool at first, but let me point out that my class shares the ice with 4-5 other classes of sub-10 yr olds. Cute little 5 yr old boys that want to play hockey and Michelle Kwan wannabes that had moms following them around with competition outfits. Wonderful! Well, TECHNICALLY my class is only for adults.....it just occurs 0.5 inches away from the other classes.
Next they told me that my class didn't really start at 6:15. It started at 6:45 with a half hour of practice time first. Practice? Practice what? The last time I had skates on my feet was about 25 years ago. But practice I did. I skated at about 0.05 miles per hour, inching my way around the edge of the rink. I felt like a pedophile skating back and forth, holding the wall, as all these little kids skated around, jumped, did flips, pyramids (ok, maybe I'm exaggerating a little) around me. I wonder if I could sneak out without anyone noticing? Dang, my neighbor already knew I was here and was watching me. No anonymous sneaking out.
After 30 minutes of absolute agony, it was time to meet my instructor. She's actually really nice and very patient. The first thing she taught me was how to fall (pretty sure I had that one mastered already) and then told me how during the last session, she couldn't demonstrate the falling lesson because she was pregnant at the time. Wait, you did this while you were pregnant? Are you crazy? And after you answer that, tell me why I'm here exactly.
The lesson was less than exciting - basically just drills back and forth across the ice as the Michelle Kwans did flips and turns around me. Surprisingly, after 30 minutes I was much more comfortable on the ice. I can now skate forwards and backwards (not fast or pretty, but I can go backwards). I can make big loops with my legs back and forth (I forget the technical name), and I know how to stop. Not bad for 30 minutes in 25 years!
Kristi Yamaguchi I am not, but it was indeed fun and I'm looking forward to next week!
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